


Sex Talk and Summer Stock

by mnwood



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Asexual Awareness Week, Asexual Castiel, Asexuality, Awkward Romance, Awkward Sexual Situations, Bisexual Dean, Carpenter Dean, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, POV Castiel, so much fluff wow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-23 21:19:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2556086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mnwood/pseuds/mnwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s probably unhealthy how much time they spend together but they’re in the honeymoon phase so it’s all right.</p><p>Except they haven’t had sex yet.</p><p>They haven’t done more than kissing and sleeping in the same bed together, and sometimes they don’t even cuddle or anything before falling asleep.</p><p>It’s been one month, and Castiel still hasn’t found a way to tell Dean that he’s asexual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sex Talk and Summer Stock

It’s been exactly a month.

Cas has been dating Dean for exactly one month.

Well, that’s not entirely true. Cas and Dean have been _boyfriends_ for exactly a month. They started going on dates three weeks before that. They were friends for three months before that.

It was one of those really simple scenarios (no, seriously—Cas didn’t realize these things actually happened in real life until it happened to him) where Cas liked Dean, and Dean liked Cas, and they comfortably flirted with one another for a while until it was time to make a move so Cas asked Dean on a real date, and then he asked him on four more and finally on date number five Cas pushed Dean into the door of his apartment and kissed him like he’d waited his whole life to kiss him.

“Will you be my boyfriend?” he had asked, and it was so cheesy but he didn’t care because his lips were right against Dean’s and nothing felt more natural.

“Uh-huh, yes, please,” Dean had answered before pulling Cas’ face back up against his.

They’re kind of inseparable now. They sleep over at each other’s apartments all the time and then hold hands as they walk to class together in the morning. They go to work together and leave work together and have lunch on days when their schedules line up and dinner on days when they don’t. They do homework together in the library and get drunk together on the weekends, and really it’s probably unhealthy how much time they spend together but they’re in the honeymoon phase so it’s all right.

Except they haven’t had sex yet.

They haven’t done more than kissing and sleeping in the same bed together, and sometimes they don’t even cuddle or anything before falling asleep.

It’s been one month, and Castiel still hasn’t found a way to tell Dean that he’s asexual.

It’s really—it’s like, it’s not that big of a deal. Cas is totally willing to have sex. It’s not something he _desires_ , sure, but he’s not completely averse to the idea either. He likes Dean _a lot_ , and he’s spent enough time thinking about this to know he could do it. He could have sex with Dean—or maybe do some sort of sexual activities—and be able to survive. It wouldn’t be the most enjoyable thing he’s ever done, but it also wouldn’t be the worst.

Yeah.

The problem is that Cas knows what’s going to happen when he tells Dean.

First of all, he’s going to pick the exact wrong moment to do it. They’re going to be in a movie theater or at the library or in the middle of making out, and Cas is just going to blurt out, “I’m asexual.”

Second of all, as much as Cas would like to believe that he is different, Dean’s going to react the way that everyone reacts. “You’re what? You don’t want to have sex? Don’t you think that’s something you should’ve told me before you asked me out, Cas? Were you trying to trick me into this?”

Third of all, Dean is going to be pissed. He is going to be pissed and hurt and he will probably dump Cas. If not right there on the spot, in a couple of weeks. Because people expect certain things out of a relationship, and if they feel as if they have entered into something they didn’t sign up for, they will bail. That’s just fact.

Fourth of all, if Cas actually _does_ get a chance to say he’s willing to try sexual stuff with Dean, well, it’s going to be too little, too late.

So yeah, Cas is pretty much positive that this relationship is doomed to fail.

One month.

He’s never dated anybody this long without telling them, which means…he’s never dated anybody this long.

He’s also never liked anybody as much as he likes Dean. Cas considers himself panromantic, but he’s starting to think that might not be true. He’s only been romantically interested in two or three people in his life, but he’s dated a lot more than that. He’s pretty desperate for romantic intimacy, but with most of the people he’s dated it has felt completely forced and unnatural.

With Dean, it’s…unbelievably easy.

Yeah, he’s fucked.

“Are you applying to Utah Shakes? I think I’m going to. I don’t know if they pay as well as Wolf Trap though.”

“Hmm?”

“You all right, Cas? You’ve been out of it the past few minutes.”

“Oh, um, yeah, I’m fine. Just…thinking. Utah Shakespeare, yeah, I sent my application two days ago. I saw they had some carp openings.”

“Are we—would you—never mind.” Dean shakes his head and stares more intensely at his laptop.

“What is it, Dean?”

“Would it be weird if we applied to the same places? I mean, I know it’s a long way away but…”

“But what?”

“I wouldn’t mind going to the same place as you,” Dean admits quietly.

All right, now or never. This is the time. It’s December, and Dean’s already talking about working together in the summer. That’s pretty damn long-term thinking for only having dated a month. Cas needs to tell him.

Then again, Dean and Cas work really well together. They met through their jobs at the theater on campus—Cas is a first year grad student in the costume shop, and Dean is the only work-study in the scene shop. Dean’s a junior undergrad with a major in drama, but he’s pretty much treated as importantly as a grad student. He’s even slated to serve as assistant technical director on one of the shows next semester (which is unheard of).

It was the second week of school when Dean came into the costume shop with a bandana wrapped around his head (Cas might have laughed a little at the way his ears stuck out) and sawdust all over his camo-patterned cargo pants. He flirted with every girl in the shop (Cas is the only guy), introduced himself to the ones he didn’t know, and finally made his way over to the costume designer, Missouri, to ask to borrow one of their sergers because “one of the backdrops is tearing and you know we’re not taking any chances with those.”

He was following Missouri over to the cabinet where they keep sergers when he spotted Cas staring at him. Cas didn’t break eye contact as he continued whip stitching the hem of a sleeve.

A goofy grin took over Dean’s face as he asked, “Who’s the new guy, Missouri?”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself, sweetie? You introduced yourself to everybody else already,” she answered exasperatedly before picking up a serger and dropping it into Dean’s arms.

Dean was still staring at Cas when he took it. “I’m Dean. You a first year?”

“Hello, Dean. Yes, I am.”

“You got a name?”

“Castiel.”

“Nice to meet you, Castiel.” Dean winked. “Hope to see you around.”

Missouri was not exactly subtle when she told Dean not to mess with her students and stir up all kinds of trouble across departments. (“Hey, it’s the grad students who get in trouble, not me! I’m just the poor, naïve undergrad.” “Sure, Dean, because you and Cassie’s secret relationship last year was just all her fault, uh-huh.”)

They were open about dating each other even though it’s definitely against the rules, but everybody across departments agrees that Cas and Dean both work better and harder dating each other than not. That, and everybody thinks they’re really fucking cute when they leave together every day at 5, Cas always taking a rag to Dean’s face to clean off all the sweat and sawdust as they walk, and Dean rubbing his thumbs into Cas’ palms to alleviate the soreness caused by sewing for most of the day.

“Cas, please say something.”

“Oh! Um, sorry, Dean,” Cas says as he pulls out of his train of thought and comes back to the present. “Yes, going to the same theater. I would—I think that would be all right.” No. What? That’s not what he meant to say.

“Good. I just—you know, I didn’t want to be too forward or clingy or whatever. But it would definitely be nice to have you around during a summer stock, you know.”

Cas smiles and leans over his laptop to kiss Dean. “It’s OK, Dean.” He pulls back and knocks their foreheads and noses together.

“You sure you’re all right?” Dean asks, his breath right against Cas’ mouth.

“Yes. Everything’s fine.”

But everything is not fine.

They go to a movie together and sit in the back and make out like teenagers and all Cas can think is _if he tries to touch you, you have to tell him you have to tell him._

Dean asks Cas on a date to a really nice restaurant and afterward he pushes him up against the Impala right there in the parking lot and starts disheveling his suit. He shoves a thigh between Cas’ legs but doesn’t seem to notice or care that Cas isn’t hard.

They fall asleep in front of the TV one night, Cas lying on his back and Dean lying face down on Cas’ chest. Cas wakes up an hour or so later to Dean’s lips on his neck. He should stop him, but instead he wraps his arms tighter around him and makes breathy little noises at every kiss. Just as his heart is starting to race (which he still doesn’t know is a good or a bad thing), Dean whispers into his ear, “let’s go to bed,” and the moment is gone.

Cas has to work late on a project one night, and he’s the only one in the costume shop. Dean shows up with food around 9 and plants himself right in Cas’ lap and starts kissing him hard. He grinds down onto him and once again does not mention Cas’ lack of erection.

One morning Cas wakes up spooned in Dean’s arms, and…Dean is rutting up against his backside in his sleep. Cas can feel Dean’s erection pressing into him, trying to gain friction, Dean’s breaths ragged and short.

Cas tries to shift, but Dean’s arm grips tighter into his stomach, pulling him closer. Cas shuts his eyes tight and tries to think how to handle this. He should wake Dean up, he should definitely wake Dean up, even if Cas _wanted_ to have sex with Dean, he knows this isn’t how Dean would want to do it.

He tries saying his name a few times, but that just makes Dean thrust harder into his back. He’s starting to panic, so he forcibly twists out of Dean’s grip so that he’s facing him. Dean whimpers a little and turns his face into the mattress, but he still doesn’t wake up.

OK, all right, Cas can do this. He can do this. He presses his palm forward and feels Dean’s erection through his pajama pants. Dean arches and moans, and Cas starts a slow rhythm back and forth over the material. He has no idea what he’s doing and he knows his hand is going to cramp in just a minute, but it seems Dean’s enjoying it.

When Dean starts thrusting into Cas’ hand, Cas thinks it’s probably a good idea to get his pants off. He’d hate to ruin his favorite pajamas. But wrapping his hand around Dean’s cock is totally different than palming him through his pants, and Cas starts to panic again.

Dean’s mostly awake now, but when Cas squeezes too hard he wakes up completely and gasps, “Cas! What are you—”

“Shh, I got you. You were aroused in your sleep, I’m just helping out,” Cas says lowly, and he actually can’t believe how level his voice sounds.

“Cas, I—OK,” Dean breathes as he grabs Cas’ shoulder for leverage and thrusts purposely into his hand.

Dean has his eyes shut tight like he’s trying to hide from something, and the expression on his face is pained as he comes.

Cas wonders if that’s just how everybody looks during sex.

“Thanks, Castiel.”

“I’ll get a towel to clean you off.” Cas gets up and is grateful that Dean doesn’t offer to return the favor. Not that he really gave him the option anyway.

When he gets back, Dean is standing and gathering his clothes for the day. Cas tries not to stare, but…Dean naked is more than his romantic little heart can handle.

Dean gets up in Cas’ personal space to take the towel, and he’s got a shit-eating grin on his face. “Like what you see?”

“You’re very attractive.”

Dean leans down and kisses Cas by the ear. “Sorry I, uh, you know…”

“It’s OK, Dean.”

But it’s not OK. It’s not OK because after that Dean becomes unusually awkward around Cas. Dean, the guy who flirts with everything that moves and makes Cas blush with just a smile and could probably sleep with whoever the hell he wants— _that_ Dean is acting shy and uncomfortable around Cas.

It only takes a few days for Cas to notice that he’s always the one initiating any physical contact anymore. Dean doesn’t even try to hold Cas’ hand or hug him or anything.

Kissing Dean is different, too. He’s holding back now, which makes Cas feel like he’s doing all the work and trying to coax Dean into doing something he doesn’t want to do. God, what the hell.

They’re sitting in the Union on a Thursday afternoon when Dean slams his laptop shut and announces, “We need to talk about sex.”

“Um. Right now?”

“Yeah. I feel bad. You, um, you were good to me the other day and I…haven’t made it up to you.”

“Dean, you don’t have to—”

“No, Cas, I do. God. I always fuck this up, and I’m just not—”

“Dean, I’m asexual.”

Dean looks at Cas with wide eyes. “What?”

“You don’t owe me anything because I don’t want it. I don’t want sex.”

Dean leans forward on the table and drops his face into his hands. “Oh, thank God.”

“I’m sorry, did you just say, ‘thank God’?”

Dean lifts his head and has a huge smile on his face. “I fucking hate sex, dude.”

“ _Excuse me?”_

“I mean, I’m not—I’m not ace. I did a lot of research on it a while ago because I thought I might be, but it turns out I just hate sex. Like, I still desire it or whatever, but actually doing it terrifies me a little.”

Cas just stares at him blankly.

“Dude, stop looking at me like that. This is good fucking news.”

“Why’d you let me jack you off?”

“Uh, I thought you wanted to and I always give people what they want? Why did _you_ jack me off?"

“Good point. I thought you wanted me to.”

Dean laughs, and they don’t say anything for a while.

“We’re idiots,” Cas finally admits.

“You think?”

“So what we’ve been doing—that’s…good for you?”

“Hell yeah. Jesus, I’ve been so nervous, Cas.”

“How do you mean?”

Dean takes Cas’ hand and kisses it gently. “Every time I get hard around you, I freak out like you’re going to try to fuck me or something.”

“You didn’t notice that I was never aroused when you were?”

Dean makes a confused face and says, “I guess not. Wow. We really are a couple of morons.”

“A couple of morons who are apparently perfectly compatible.” Cas grabs Dean’s face and kisses him until somebody at a nearby table clears their throat loudly.

“You applying to Elon?” Dean asks when they pull apart.

“I was considering it, yes.”

“Good. Me too. We need to figure out what our top choices are, make sure we go to the same place.”

Cas’ heart swells with warmth. “Yeah. Let’s be sure to do that.”

Maybe this might just work out after all.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by a conversation I had with a friend when I said I would be relieved if I dated somebody and then they told me they were ace. So basically I'm Dean in this fic. Also, summer stock is what pretty much all people who work in theater do during the summer. Theaters hire a bunch of extra people and do several shows in a very short amount of time and it's crazy.
> 
> I'm [deancasheadcanons](http://deancasheadcanons.tumblr.com/) on tumblr, and [this is my website.](https://maddmadeshop.com/)
> 
>  
> 
> [Rebloggable link](http://deancasheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/101619138306/ao3-in-honor-of-asexual-awareness-week-its)


End file.
